A Compliment That Seeks to Do More

“…all of us becoming what we could not be without the One who created us.” 

– The Barbarian Way

I love the small moments and words that brighten days. Hebrews 10:24 says,  ^“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” I was recently talking with some friends about complimenting others, especially in regards to their looks. I think our interactions with others can be powerful. Compliments are great, don’t get me wrong. I love them because they have the ability to brighten a day, even if it’s just for a moment; but what if we sought to do more. What if we “considered how” we could “stir one another to love and good works” I’m not saying stop complimenting. I think compliments are great. But I think the world has already gotten looks covered. Most of us already seek to look nice, but what is reminding us to love others and do nice things? Not much, but we can. I don’t know how, but let’s “consider” how we can.

I think complimenting others already comes naturally. But let’s try to be intentional about how we can encourage and challenge one another. It doesn’t need to replace compliments; I think it should be done in addition. We shouldn’t force it, but we should look for opportunities and ask God to open our eyes to those opportunities. For instance, one of my friends recently stopped and prayed for a girl in my dorm who was feeling sick. She has a cold and we were talking about it since finals are coming up, and instead of just listening, or even saying “hey I’ll keep you in my prayers,” he went a step further and asked if he could pray for her right then and there. I should have complimented him on that. Why? Because in that moment, he let God use him, and a compliment can be an encouragement, and what he did was something more than worth encouraging him to continue to do. What he did there was truly beautiful. Not only did it demonstrate the work God is and is continuing to do in his life. A man who genuinely cares for other and doesn’t even hesitate to take action, often in the form of prayer, when he can. But also it showed the beauty of a community—a Christ filled community, where we are used in each other’s lives to care for each other. So much of the beauty that only God can bring was shown in that action.

I guess I wish I could find a way for me to more naturally see that. I am so in tune to what is physically beautiful. I can recognize it and compliment it right away. I just wish that was true of how I see spiritual beauty. I mean I just wonder what it would look like if spiritual beauty got the kind of attention that physical beauty does. I just wonder what the world would look like if people were more concerned about their spiritual beauty than their physical beauty. I don’t think me complimenting the spiritual beauty I see is going to change this about the world, but I do think it can have an impact on a person’s life, and so I want to seek to do that. I want to look for ways for them to see all that they are in Him, and be encouraged and inspired by that so that they are motivated to continue to be more in Him.

We are more than our looks, and why we all would agree with that, how is that made evident through our interactions? The world is constantly telling us that we want to be beautiful, what are we telling each other? Do our words merely affirm this, or do we speak about more than looks to each other? Compliments are great, but I think we can seek to do more. I think we can seek to inspire. We can see the beauty in others, and compliment it, and in doing so, encourage them to continue to cultivate it. Let’s seek to put some attention on what God can and is doing in our lives. We’ve poured enough attention on the outward; let’s shine some light on the inward and upward!

Fearlessness

I love a good action movie. I blame it on having two older brothers, but I nonetheless just love them! I recently came across a clip from the miniseries, Band of Brothers, where this guy, Ronald Speirs, literally runs through enemy lines and back in the middle of a cross fire!! His courage is unreal, and I want it!! I don’t plan to me in the military, or see myself in that kind of situation, but I want my spiritual faith to look like that! Even though it is unseen, we live, in the words of Billy Graham, “in a perpetual battlefield,” and we are in this spiritual battle whether we want to be in it or not!

As I pursue a fearless life in Him, I want my actions to bear witness to this courage. Captain Speirs saw a need, and without hesitancy ran full fledge ahead into the danger to meet this need,and accomplish what needed to be done. My prayer is that I would one day be able to come to a point where I trust God and have that kind of a faith in Him. A faith and obedience to Him that allows me to, without hesitancy, get up and run into whatever crazy thing He has me do, and let His light shine because of it! I mean can you imagine a world where Christians, soldiers of God, lived like that? Where we just fearlessly obeyed!

I see glimpses of this. I hear tons of stories of missionaries and such doing some pretty wild things for Christ! But I also know that this can be done in the everyday! I know because I have seen it countless times from my older brother. I’ll never forget this one time when I was in the car with him at a red light, and this guy getting on a bus in front of us dropped his groceries and was trying to pick them up quickly and get on the bus before it left, and my brother just pulled up the emergency break, jumped out of the car,  ran over picking up  the cans rolling down the street, and helped get the man on the bus, and then ran back, and continued driving home. Or this past summer when some super sketch people came up to us asking for money for food and he took them to starbucks (they wanted coffee, and he didn’t just give them McDonalds, he treated them to the best! I thought that spoke volumes as well!) got them some coffee and pastries, and then gave them his phone number in case it ever rained and they needed a place to crash!!! I was shocked!! I can’t imagine living that way and taking those risks!! Risks that honestly look foolish and yet are just so amazing!! I don’t know how some people have such instinctive courage but I want God, if it is His will, to foster that in me. I want to live so fearlessly for Him that everyone else around me thinks I am a fool, but at the same time are challenged, like I am, by what was done. That kind of instinctive courage is so inspiring and can be used in some pretty powerful ways!!

So whether it is sitting next to the loner at the lunch table, or selling all you have and serving in some impoverished and war filled country, my prayer would be that if God nudges, we obey and do so with courage. I pray that we would live so selflessly, and with such faith, that we could unblinkingly obey no matter what! I think there are daily, opportunities to live with this kind of courage. Let’s let God foster it in us. Let’s seek these opportunities out, and let God develop this kind of fearlessness in us, so that if ever the day comes when God asks us to run through enemy lines and back, we can!!

Deuteronomy 31:6

"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."

John 16:33

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."

*Go to 6:20 in the video!

To Your Embrace

I love hugs. I definitely wasn't always a hugger but I am for sure becoming one! There are some people that have really been bringing this out of me this year. I mean I literally run to hug some people now, which I kind of don’t how that escalated in my life so quickly! But today I just had this great excitement at the thought of the joy of what it will be like to one day be hugged by my Father. I was in church singing, and we came to this point in the words:

Oh, I’m running to Your arms

I’m running to Your arms

The riches of Your love

Will always be enough

Nothing compares to Your embrace

Maybe it’s a long ways off, but like the days when I would wait for my father to come home in great excitement, I can’t wait for the day when I will finally come home, and find myself wrapped in the arms of my heavenly Dad! But just like there was much to do as I waited for my dad as a kid (set up every game in the house so that we could play whichever one he picked as soon as he got home, or find a great hiding spot to jump out of when he walked in) my waiting will not be idle. God’s still doing a lot in my life before I am able to come home, but it was for sure nice to get a future glimpse of a beautiful moment with Him!!

Compelled by Love

I love great quotes!! I have been reading through this amazing book called, The Barbarian Way, and I just came across this part that fits so perfectly with what is driving this blog, that I had to share.

   "Anyone who chooses the barbarian way will learn quickly that love and sacrifice cannot be separated. This is perhaps why so many of us who know love fear love. We know that love is not the absence of pain. If anything, love is the promise of pain. No one has loved more deeply than God. Has everyone ever been more betrayed? God would not know suffering if He did not know love. But because He is Love, He chose to suffer on our behalf. Without love there is no glory in suffering.
   The suffering of Christ glorifies God because it elevates love. Compelled by love, God would go where He knew suffering was certain. Love always moves to sacrifice, which is exactly where He calls us to go. We shouldn't be surprised , then, that to follow Christ is to abandon luxury of safety and security. If we are to be like Him, WE MUST ALWAYS RISK FOR LOVE." (I added the all caps!)

Loving fearlessly is both recognizing the pain and sacrifice that one may very well encounter by such fearless acts, but also that because of Him, it is worth it! It is both following His lead, but also realizing that His love for us is enough, and that having that far out weighs any pain we may go through to as we pursue a life fully lived for Him. His love and presence in our life drives out fear, and empowers us to take on risks in our pursuit towards loving like Him.

Star filled skies

I love star filled skies. They are so majestic and beautiful! This weekend I went to my dorm retreat, where I got to know so many of my brothers and sisters better, and just had such a fantastic time. But one of my favorite parts was looking up at the stars! (Also I saw a shooting star for the first time which I am still so excited about!!) I can’t really put into words why they are so amazing to look at, but they do have a way of bringing me into a greater awe of my Father. I have such peace and contentment when I lay in stillness just looking up to those glimmering gems of the heavens!

I am not sure why, but I soon started thinking about what the view from heaven would look like. Looking down at a sky like that! And then I wondered if that beautiful night sky was exactly how the world looks like to God. Is that why He is able to think we are beautiful? Because even though there is so much darkness, there are these beautiful lights shining out for Him! I don’t know if that is a very accurate perspective of how God sees the world, but it did lead me to a greater hope and conviction for my life. Yeah, there is darkness all over the place, it permeates the world, but the darkness is also filled with a multitude of glorious lights! Sometimes you look up at the sky and wish to just see even one star, but then other nights, you are overwhelmed with how many there are! And some nights you even see a shooting star!! Souls living so fully for God that He seems to be propelling them through this world on His grand plans! I know there will be cloudy nights when I don’t see any stars, but they are still there, and so I find so much hope in the way God will use us to shine brightly for Him. I am also convicted to continue to shine brightly for Him! Maybe even be a part of a constellation that together tells a part of one of God’s beautiful stories!

P.S. I loved the stars so much I decided to sleep out under them, and fell asleep listening to David Crowder’s Stars!

Beyond Grateful

I love how safe I feel in God’s arms. Once again He protected me in ways I do not fully understand. I got in my first car accident today while driving. A car came into my lane while I was on a pretty busy road and I hit him. It was so sudden and yet in slow motion as I saw the car coming and realized what was happening but had no control over it.  I still can’t put to words all that I felt as I saw his car spin out in front of me. It was so unreal! And yet I didn’t even get so much as a bruise or scratch from it! I was completely unharmed, and crazy enough, he seemed to be too (though I don’t know for sure).  I am just so amazed by the way He protected me, both cars took a hit, and I should have too, and so I am just in pure amazement! But also beyond grateful!

This experience did shake me up, though; especially on my way home later tonight when I passed a different accident. I haven’t seen any during my time at Calvin, and yet today I not only got in one but saw a crazy accident. The car was completely totaled and there were ambulances and police everywhere. It was quite a scene. And the whole time I just thought of how that could have been me. I mean I don’t want to be dramatic, but it’s true, you don’t know what to expect and your life could change in an instant. Today I was reminded of that, and I realize how blessed I am that it was just a reminder, but I also don’t want to take what I’ve learned lightly. Life is limited, and every day is a gift. I don’t want to waste a single day, not even a second of it. I want to let God use me fully; every moment of every day. I want to love Him and those around me. I want to count my blessings, and be a blessing to others. I know this might come off as another cliché story, but I still hope that it doesn’t. I hope that it will serve as a reminder to you too, that every day is a blessing, and that in order to make our lives matter (as long or short as they end up being) we need to give them up fully to Him. So start living! Don’t wait till it’s too late! And if anything, don’t take for granted the small things that are really big things! Live a life of thanksgiving that daily shares your gratitude to God. Let thanksgiving be your dialect! 

An Everlasting Love

I love being loved. Victor Hugo, a man whose words have filled many pages of my quote book (though he known for far greater things than that!), once said, “The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” How lucky am I then, that I am a daughter of God and have this love! Jeremiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” Those first words bring such a beautiful joy to my soul! I have loved you with an everlasting love! And while the second part brings great joy to me too; this knowledge of knowing that His faithfulness to me will continue, I am also convicted of what that should cause me to do. I mean the acknowledgement of this kind of love has to stir up some kind of response. And as I let the knowledge of this love really settle in, I realize the freedom it brings me. Freedom from all hopelessness, worry, stress, and just so much more; just the fact that a being capable of this kind of love exists, brings so much hope, courage, and joy.

Majesty

Here I am, humbled by your majesty, 
Covered by your grace so free.
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man, 
Covered by the blood of the lamb.

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine, 
Since You laid down Your life, 
The greatest sacrifice.

Majesty
Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hands

Here I stand humbled by the love that You give, 
Forgiven so that I can forgive.
So here I stand, 
Knowing that I am Your design, 
Sanctified by glory and fire.
And now I've found the greatest love of all is mine, 
Since You laid down Your life, 
The greatest sacrife.

Majesty
Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hands 
Majesty
Majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the presence of Your Majesty

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am, 
Empty handed but alive in your hands.
Singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love, 
In the presence of Your Majesty.
Majesty.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am, 
Empty handed but alive in your hands.
Singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love, 
In the presence of Your Majesty.
Majesty.

Hold Fast to Dreams

I love dreams! I think that is why my dream job would be teaching children in such a way that I am able to not only give hope to the hopeless, but show them how to dream, and truly believe in them! This has played a big role in my desire to be involved in overseas missions, but for awhile now I have been feeling more called in inter-city missions. Coming back home to Philly and teaching in some of the poorer schools there has been something that seems to have been placed on my heart.  While I have been trying to accept this, my heart has still been aching for overseas missions! I don’t want to be a Jonah, and I wouldn’t say that I have wholeheartedly accepted this yet, but this week God has been working in my heart in some pretty cool ways. He’s put a lot of great people in my life, which have been such a blessing, but the coolest part was this past Wednesday when I went to a pretty impoverished school for one of my classes. The school was predominantly Latino, but when I walked in and then spent time with my students I just had so many flashbacks to my time in Peru. It was so amazing! It was as if God was telling me, “Christina I know you. I know what your heart seeks, I created you that way! So when I ask you to trust me, do. I know you won’t always understand, but I promise that if you trust me I will lead you right where you need to be and I provide everything you need, even the satisfaction of your heart’s desires. It might not be the way you would have imagined, but it will be just the way I planned it and so it will be perfect!” My time there was amazing and I am so looking forward to getting to spend time with those kids every week. It was at times heartbreaking to see the lives they were living, but it was also so real, and beautiful. I knew that this was just the kind of setting  God could use me in. And so I am finding so much hope and excitement for my future!

I came across this beautiful poem by Langston Hughes recently. It’s a pretty famous one, but it was nice to come across it again. 

Dreams

Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.

I hope this can be a poem I keep close to my heart as I teach. While I will probably end up in public schools where I won’t be able to voice my faith, dreams will something I will be able to and so I hope I will be able to help instill dreams in the lives of my students! Dreams that I will then pray will lead them to Him!

We are family

I love when God uses His family. It never ceases to amaze me, the timing of my King. The paths He leads me down, and the people He places in my life at just the right moment. I went to chapel today because I just needed to worship my beautiful King, and spend time in awe of Him. As I continue to fall more in love with my true love, I find less and less I enjoy more than worshipping Him, and the feeling that comes with feeling the presence of the one I love as I sing to Him. And so I found hopeful anticipation as I walked towards the place where I would sing with and to Him. What I didn’t expect, was that I would be reminded of the brokenness of this world, and the pain that is in the hearts of so many.

Lately God has been showing me the uniqueness of my heart. It’s ability to feel the pain I see in others. At first I hated it, it was too painful, but lately I have been seeing the beauty and the privilege of the gift. Anyway, this gift is still under development, and I guess God choose today’s chapel to work on my heart, and so my heart began to break, and the joy I had as I walked over, was soon overcome with sadness. I thought of the pain of those I love, but also existence of pain in this world. The pain so many carry alone and how heartbreaking that is. He was teaching me how to open my eyes and heart to the pains of the world, but since this is something He is still developing in me, the sadness I was feeling soon turned into discouragement. This is when He brought in some of His other children, and used members of His family to help one of His daughters. As I stood in chapel, trying to hold back the tears, a fellow sister of mine began to pray. She’s was praying to God over all of us at chapel, but her words were exactly what I needed to hear. She spoke of brokenness, but also of redemption.  And I began to find both comfort and encouragement from her words. She talked of the beauty that God is able to bring out of our lives and then challenged us to let that beauty shine out of us today. To let God use us in each other’s lives today, and be a part of the healing in others lives. To be a loving face that encourages the brokenhearted, and I was reminded of the purpose I can find in my pain. I was able to be renewed, and motivated to go out and let God’s love, beauty, and hope shine through me today.  I soon reflected on one of the songs playing on my radio earlier that morning, and was encouraged to take up my position in God’s army and become part of the light that is coming for the hearts that hold on. There’s a lot of darkness in this world, but there’s light that is coming. And so as I have been encouraged and challenged, I also challenge you to join the light, and shine in the lives of others. Bring healing and hope. Live for Him, and let His love radiate out of your life.

The Little Things

I love when God uses the little things. A friend recently sent me an email which was signed “Hidden with Christ in God Col.3:3” I am not even sure why, but a sudden curiosity came over me to look up the verse; which caused me to keep reading, and just be touched and convicted by this letter from Paul.  At first it was just a conviction of the old self that I seem to slip back on so easily, and my desire for my life to be hidden with Christ in God. I began looking at the ways I continue to put on my old self. How I am so selfish, and how that keeps me from truly caring about the needs of others. I then began thinking about my floor, and how I want and need to really care about the girls on my floor. And then verse 14 came, which says, “And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Which is crazy, since that is exactly what I want for my floor. I want to help foster a community bonded in harmony and growth in God.  Then as I thought about how to go about this, I began to realize how I really should start praying for them more. How prayers connect us, and how praying for them would help me more truly care for them. And then as I look over I saw highlighted in my bible over in chapter 4:2, “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” And then a little further down in verse 5, the words, “… making the best use of the time”

God has given me this great opportunity to be a leader on a floor of almost 40 girls, and so I want to make the best use of my time here with them. Paul in the verses before he states that asks for prayer that God would open the door for him to declare Christ to others. My friends, I ask that you would pray a similar prayer for me. Pray that God would prepare me and the present open doors for me to be the sister in Christ those around me need. Pray that I wouldn’t waste this great opportunity to be in daily fellowship with my sisters. Pray that I would walk in love, and never forget the power of prayer. Pray that this year; my life would truly be hidden in Christ in God. 

My re-awaking to a fearless love

I love true love. And while I am a fan of fairytales and happily ever afters, I don’t mean true love in that sense, but rather this 1 john 4 love that I based this blog around. I know it’s been months since I’ve written last, but a re-awaking to this pursuit to love fearlessly has urged me to write again. I am beyond grateful for the heart God has given me, but as I am lead through new journeys with Him I am seeing how lately He really has been showing me what it means to love fearlessly. I always knew that loving others could bring pain. And while I knew that feeling their pain would cause pain in my heart too, I mostly thought of how I didn’t want to be afraid to love others because of the pain of rejection they might bring. God however, has been showing me the immense pain one can feel from feeling the hurt of others. The fears of seeing those you love in pain and being helpless. The pain of loving someone, but seeing them view themselves so lowly, or in a hopeless despair. And so lately God has been showing me not to fear the pain the heart can feel. Yes its suffering, but its suffering He knows well, and is now letting me share with Him. He’s letting me see and feel glimpses of the depth of love He felt for us. A love so deep that He sweat blood at Gethsemane and then later gave up His life for.

 

There is so much pain in this world, but there is also love and hope, and I want to help bring it. Only I am now realizing that in order to truly bring that hope and love, I have to be willing to see and truly feel the pain that is in need of the love. And so as I start off another year, my hope is to truly be able to love those around me fearlessly. To see their hurt for what it is, and then let God use me to bring them the comfort, encouragement, and prayer they need. We sang this song in church and it is what reminded me that I need to dedicate my heart and all that it feels to Him and His will for me and those all around me. My heart belongs to Him, and it is because of that, that I will be able to love fearlessly.

All My Love

You made a way for me

To come to your mercy seat

Your death has opened up the door

Now that the veil has been torn

My broken life is restored

Your precious blood has washed me clean

                All my love is yours, all of my affection

                All my heart belongs to the lord most high

One thing I ask and seek

To gaze upon your beauty

To dwell in your house forever more

For my body longs for you

More than for drink or food

My soul thirsts for the living God

All of my heart and my soul

All of my strength is yours

All of my hopes and my dreams

I give to you my king

 All of my plans and my ways

I lay them down and say

All of my love is yours

Becoming Lucy

I love great stories. I always loved the character Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia, but it was always Susan who I wanted to be. She was so strong, and beautiful. She was gentle yet courageous, and she was such a strong warrior with her bow and arrow. Her strength and beauty both inside and out were what I wanted for myself. But as I look at my life I am a Lucy, and that is okay. She too admired her older sister and wished to be her, but unlike me she took the role she was given and she gave it her all. And she, even if she didn’t realize it, was very important. I mean it was her, after all, that found Narnia. It was her who was always filled with joy, and always cared for others. It was her who didn’t fight in the battle, but ran around healing all those who had fallen during the battle. I mean could you imagine if she hadn’t? If she had sat back at camp sulking about how she couldn’t fight. Or if she had tried and just ended up getting killed and causing others grief, or causing others to fall when they realized this and got distracted by it, or tried to protect her and ended up getting hurt themselves. I mean so much hurt could have come if she hadn’t accepted her role. And yet because she did the opposite, because she took her role and gave it her all, saw the importance of it, she was a great help as she healed, comforted and encouraged others. And really this role suited her well. She naturally was so genuinely loving and caring. As I look at my life I see many similarities. Like her I am small and full of heart and eagerness to be right on the front line for Christ, but that isn’t the role I have been given. Every time I try to be on the front line I see myself or others getting hurt, but every time I encourage others, or make myself available to be there for others and comfort them I feel a sense of purpose. It come naturally to me and it is something I enjoy doing. I mean my heart still breaks as I see the hurt of those around me, but my heart also rejoices as I see the hope or comfort I was able to help bring them to through Christ and His love.

                We are not in the middle of any mystical battle between a witch and a lion, but we are very much at war with an unseen reality between God goodness and Satan and his evil. It’s a spiritual warfare were people fall everyday under his traps and snares, and I refuse to sit on the sidelines. God has given me the gift of encouragement, much like Lucy was given her little bottle of medicine, and I will run with the same urgency to encourage, comfort, strengthen, and whatever else God calls me to do for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I am done with my pursuit and dreams of being Susan, I am becoming Lucy.

I love when you come across something so small and yet God uses it to greatly affect you. Like when I walked into my dorm and written on a white board were the words, “God loves you. Today is a good day!” I don’t know how long it was up there, if I had walked by it before, or even how many others had just walked by it, or read it and then quickly forgot it. I mean it doesn’t seem that profound, and yet it is. God loves you. God loves me! I mean think about that! A god, the one and only GOD loves us!! That is crazy, and so yes, of course today is a good day. When we remember that awesome truth, every day is an awesome day. It’s better than your crush telling you they like you, your boyfriend proposing, or even the love of your life saying “I do”. It’s better than all of that, because the one that matters the most, the one we were created for, find our purpose in, find life in. The one who does all that in us, loves us!!! I wish I could live every day in this mindset. I wish I woke up every morning knowing it was going to be a great day, because I remembered what it really means to be loved by God! I mean could you imagine a life with that kind of mindset?!! I’m sure I’ll forget often, which is so sad since this shouldn’t be the kind of thing one can just forget, but I want to try to live from here on out with this mindset. The mindset of everyday being just beautiful because I am loved by the God of love himself!

I love Valentine’s Day!! I mean it’s a day where we can just go crazy with our love for each other. Some may wonder, what is a single person doing loving Valentine’s Day, but I say what is a Christian doing not getting excited about this day?!! In Ephesians 5:2 it says, “Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” We should live lives of love daily, but today we get to go all out. Plus we don’t get weird looks from those receiving our acts of kindness, but smiles! Sure this may be just some Hallmark holiday, but we can make it into so much more. We can look at this holiday as a great opportunity to show the world our love for God and them!! We can live out 1 Thessalonians 3:12 where it says, “May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else.” God loves us so much that our lives should overflow with love. This is a day that celebrates what we already love doing—loving! Some also make the argument of how we shouldn’t need a holiday to do what we should already do. True, but we all need reminders, and hey why not celebrate? I’ve been reading this book by Mark Batterson called, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, and in it it says “Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can.” I love God, so of course I am going to be all for a day where I can celebrate this love, even if that wasn’t the exact purpose of the holiday. Hey, why not turn it into that? Or perhaps you are one of those people who needs the reminder to do what you should be doing daily. Well than use this day to remind yourself of the greatest love story of all time! Maybe you’re single and little sad (celebrating single’s awareness day!), well hey that greatest love story of all time is about God’s amazing love for YOU!!! So why am I excited about, and in love with, Valentine’s Day? Because I have more reasons than not to celebrate! I am loved by the King of kings! I get this opportunity to tell the ones I love that they are so special to me, and see the smiles that it brings! And because loving others is just a good thing to celebrate in general! Valentine’s Day is a day that celebrates love, and I worship, and am in love with, the God not of love, but who is love, and so today is just beautiful!
“Since God so loved us, we ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us” (1 John 4:11-12). So in honor of today let’s take on this challenge of letting God’s love be made complete in us, and to remember His great love for us. Let’s let today be another way where we live in this world but not of this world. Let’s take a holiday that this world has created, and use it to further glorify God, and live for Him!! Happy Valentine’s Day!

P.S. I really do love that book by Mark Batterson, here’s a cool quote from it.
The Lion Chaser’s Manifesto:
"Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Grab life by the mane. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don’t let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshipping what’s right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don’t try to be who you’re not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion."

 I love the way God’s plans are always far better than ours!! Recently, I have been really struggling with accepting possible directions to which I feel God has been leading me. I felt that, as soon as I accepted anything God challenged me with, and began to get excited for it, He closed the door. Missions has been something I have been considering for a while and this past year my passion for missions really began to become a huge desire for me. This was only further excited as I began the application process to a mission’s organization in hopes of going to Ethiopia with a close friend of mine whose parents have served, and continue to serve as missionaries there. Only, as I continued to pray about this I no longer felt as though this was something God was calling me to, at least not at this time in my life. Not only was another dream getting the door shut on it, but the one God seemed to be opening was not one I wanted to go through.

 I kept being challenged by the questions of isn’t there a huge need here in the States? And who is going to stay and serve here? I knew it was a terrible attitude to have, and the questions were valid, but staying here just seemed like a more frustrating mission and I wanted to help those who knew they needed help. My reasons for not wanting to stay here kept multiplying, but the more I fought God on this, the less and less I had a peace about going overseas. I soon gave in, but not with a joyful heart, in fact I began to get pretty negative, and the passion I once had for the future had been taken from me. I couldn’t cheer myself up. So that’s where I’ve been for a bit. In this funk of knowing God is good, and trying to live my life for Him, but not completely living this out since I still held some resentment towards Him.

 Then today I went on a school visit to Zeeland Christian. A school visit that I actually prayed I wouldn’t have to go on. I was hoping they would get a snow day and I would get to sleep in. Thank goodness God doesn’t say yes to these selfish prayers of mine!! Anyway, I arrived and I was just blown away by this school. We meet with the principal, and his passion for God, the children, the school, and his job was just so evident. This school is the most impressive elementary school I’ve ever seen, and as I listened to all of his stories of how different programs can be, it was clear that this school had God’s handiwork all over it. The principal has been a principal there for 27 years, and he centers everything he does around God. The giant leaps of faith he made because he felt God’s nudges, and calls, and chose to listen, are just inspiring. Everything that they do there has a reason, and the outcomes are just beautiful. From the giant rock pillar at the entrance to remind them of what God has done (like how the Israelites would mark places where God did amazing things as reminders) to the faces of the children in other countries that they sponsor, to the classrooms of full Spanish and Mandarin emersion, or inclusion, to the mission’s trips they go on, to just the evident love that can’t go unnoticed, God’s fingerprints are everywhere. I’ve never seen a place like it. As I listened to the stories that the principal, and other teachers shared with me, I found my passion for the future returning. At the end I asked the principal what advice he would give to a person like me who wants to go back home to a public school where I won’t be in a community where God is at the center of everything and where I won’t have the power to make the kind of transformations in a school as he has. It was at this response that I couldn’t help but smile, because I knew it was God’s way of reminding me that His plans for me are far better than mine, and that I just need to trust Him. The principal gave advice about being salt and light wherever I am, and not being scared to take a stance, but then he briefly shared of how God brought him here. He didn’t want to get into education, he had given up on it and he had wanted to do missions!! Go figure! But God had other plans for him, so he listened and became a teacher, and loved it, but then God wanted him in administration, and even though he would still love to be in the classrooms, he followed God, became a principal and God has clearly been using him to do amazing things ever since!! At the end he simply said; don’t be afraid to just go where God leads you, because he was a way of taking you places you would never imagine you would end up! I still don’t know for sure what plans God has for me, but today I was reminded of how they will always be better than what I could plan for myself, and that when I trust Him and take leaps of faith that this Christian leader and other great men and women do, God will do amazing things. Amazing things that I will get to be a part of! God will do amazing things; it’s up to us if we are going to let God use us in them when he presents us with the opportunities. I once again am reminded of one of my favorite Bible heroes, Esther, who knew that God would bring salvation to her people, but she had to decide if she was going to let God use her, or if she was going to pass the chance up and watch as God used someone else. This principal is that modern day Esther, running through the doors of God’s opportunities and choosing to let God use him! I hope I can do the same!

I love the way a child can love. Have you ever noticed the way some children can just love? It’s unlike God’s love because it is often very naïve, but it’s one of closest things to unconditional love I’ve ever seen. I remember the way in which I loved my parents, and showed it to them. I remember when my dad would leave for work and running to the end of the block and waving to him as long as I could until his car disappeared over the hill. Then when I got a little older I would run to the end of the block, climb up the road sign and wave clinging to the top, just because I thought it would help me be able to see him for a little longer. I remember being restless on Friday’s for him to come home so that we could start family fun night! I remember one day being so impatient that I took out every game we owned and set them up so that the moment he came home we could start whatever game he choose. Last year the band Brilliance came to our school, and the lead singer shared a story about his little girl. One day she was looking sad and so his wife asked her what was wrong, and she said that she just missed her dad. She asked her if she missed him every time he went away on a trip, and she responded with these words, “I just miss him every time he’s out of my sight.” This story made me smile so much, and it really is true. As a kid, you have this amazing ability of loving so strongly. As we grow older, and encounter disappointments we begin to build up walls, and keep our hearts safe. Children however, if they love you, then they really love you!! God is a God not of love, but that is love, and He will never disappoint us. His love for us can be trusted, and so there is no need for us to keep our hearts safe from Him, and yet I’ve noticed that we are unable to just love Him. Why is that? Have you ever questioned this? What is keeping me from full out loving God? When will we live out the words, “I’m running to your arms, I’m running to Your arms, the riches of Your love will always be enough, nothing compares to your embrace.” When will we run into the loving arms of our heavenly father the way a child runs into the arms of their father? As a child I had total trust and confidence in my father, he was a superhero, one of the really fast ones! When will I let myself become a child of God, and let him be my superhero? What will it take for me to put the trust and confidence in Him so that I can love Him like no other? When will I be able to say, I just miss Him every time He’s out of my sight? Could you imagine a world where the children of God, really loved Him the way they should? Where they had unquestioning trust and confidence in Him. Where they became saddened any time they couldn’t see Him, and so were saddened by all the things of this world that He wasn’t seen in. Who restlessly awaited His return, and ran to the end of the block so that they could catch the last possible glimpse of Him, thus spending even a second more of time with Him. I think a love like this would affect are lives more than we could ever imagine, and yet it is something so simple even a child can do it with their father. When will we let loose the love for our Father? 

I love the glimpses of God’s glory and beauty that He at times blesses us with. I just love when He, as
Brandon Heath’s song asks of, gives me His eyes so I can see. I mean it is literally all inspiring when the glasses of His goodness are put on my eyes so that I am no longer stuck in the blurred confusion of this world, but see in the clarity of His will at work. I wish I kept these glasses on so I could see the world like that all the time. I mean that isn’t even a good analogy, the Bible really says it best, I was blind, but now I see (John 9:25)!! Life without Him isn’t just blurred, it’s completely dark!
This desire to see reminded me of this Bollywood movie I saw with my mom. In the movie there is this
great boxer who is so good that he can win even with a blind fold on, and this girl who dreams of making it out of her poor home in India by becoming a famous dancer, but gets hit by a car and becomes blind. This boxer, not wanting the girl to lose her dream, offers to teach her how to see without her eyes. She agrees, and so he takes her to this place where they come to this pool of water, and while they are splashing water on their faces he shoves her head under the water as if to drown her. He finally lets her up and she is grasping for breath and freaking out because she thinks he just tried to kill her. He then responds, saying, “Lesson number one, never forget those thirty seconds under the water where the only thing you wanted was air. If you want to see as much as you want to breathe, than nothing can stop you, you will be so possessed that you will be unstoppable.” What if we took on this challenge? What if we fought to see God’s will and though His eyes as much as we fight to breathe? What if His vision was our greatest desire? I mean this would mean that above all else we would seek to see the world as He sees it, and to see His will in our life as well as in those around us. This would mean that when we offered up the words, “Your will be done” they wouldn’t just be a request of please let me be okay with Your will, or please make it so that Your will is (insert whatever your request is), but rather what you genuinely wanted. What if you sought to have your will come align with His will? Maybe then we would become so possessed with Him that we truly would be unstoppable. Jesus sought to see His father’s will, He desired this above all else, including His life (which includes breathing!!) and as we now know, He was unstoppable. Even death couldn’t conquer Him! Let’s follow His example. Let’s pray that God would heal our blindness, give us His sight, and then let’s fight to keep this sight until we are so possessed with Him, that nothing of this world can stop us! Let us no longer stumble around this world, but proclaim the glory of how we were once blind but we now see!!

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken hearted

Ones that are far beyond my reach.

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

I love the rainbows God makes out of our lives. I’ve been reading this book Desiring God, by John Piper, and in it he writes how, “We were made to be prisms refracting the light of God’s glory into all of life.” Isn’t that an awesome analogy to our lives! I mean what a privilege it is that God would chose our broken lives to display His magnificent glory. To use our lives in such a way that bends his already brilliant glory into something of unique beauty. In 8^th grade, for my science fair project I did this experiment where I compared how different light bulbs affected a prism. In order to control the variables it ended up becoming basically what one light did to a single prism suspended alone in darkness. It wasn’t the coolest science fair experiment, but it was still neat to see how the brightest lights reflected these bold rainbows onto the walls of the box the prism was suspended in.  My life is far from a lone prism in complete darkness. Yes there is a ton of darkness in this world, but God has blessed me and surrounded me with the lights and lives of many strong Christian friends and leaders. Nonetheless, when I read this quote I was reminded of this project and soon found myself smiling at the thought of how beautiful and bold the rainbow that came from the light of God’s glory would be; especially since there would be multiple prisms refracting His glory together. I mean imagine with me a world where Christians weren’t just lights but rainbows. They didn’t just share of God’s glory, they let His glory be refracted through their lives in such a way that rainbows danced about them. I remember how when I was little I loved dancing around in the living room. I particularly loved playing dress ups and dancing around as a princess. I had this one dress that had silver sequins and while it wasn’t my favorite (my Cinderella dress was my favorite!) I loved wearing it in the afternoon, because when the sun came through our big living room window and I was wearing it, rainbows would dance all around me as I spun! What if that’s what our Christian lives looked like? What then is keeping us from shining for God in this way? His glory is bright enough, so it has to be something on our part. My theory is that our prisms of life have fallen into the mud of sin and we won’t let Him wipe it off so that His light can get through (and refracted out!). My prayer now becomes that He would daily wipe away the muck on my prism so that His glory will not only be able to enter into my life, but also be refracted out in a way that displays the brilliant and bold rainbows of His glory!! I don’t want to just see His glory, I want to let His glory be seen in my life, and since for some mysterious reason He wants to use our lives in that way too, I say, let’s put an end to letting muck keep us from dancing in rainbows!!

I love the new years. I love the idea of a new beginning. I am a dreamer and so I always have such hopes for each year, as well as reflect on all the amazing and wonderful things that happened throughout the past year. This past year has been amazing, I have learned so much and have just seen the way God works in such amazing and beautiful ways. Each life really is a masterpiece in His hands and seeing it in this way is truly beautiful. But as I begin this New Year, and start back at school, I can’t help but set goals for how I want to begin living more fully. As this past year came to a close I really struggled with God’s love and what it means to love Him back, so as I begin this new year, I want to make this my mission, and so far it seems as if God had everything already set up. My church is doing this read the bible in one year, and my interim class is called “Praying like Jesus,” and so naturally I am super excited to embark on this journey of getting to know my savior more deeply. I think the only way I can truly live my life is out of pure love for Him. I can’t live it without Him, or even out of gratitude to Him. I can’t live it in terms of what would Jesus do, or what does it look like to truly live a Christian life. These are all questions that are based in what should I do, not what do I  want to do, and so they must become questions of the past. I want to want and desire God. I mean I think it’s what He wants of us too. He wants us to choose Him above all, not pick Him because we should. And so my new questions are, first, what is preventing me from truly loving my savior, and then next is what can I do to change that. As I reflect on all that I truly love, it’s the people closest to me that come to mind, and I think this is because I spend so much time with them. So I believe the key to falling in love with God is by spending a lot of time with Him. Then, after I come to this place I will begin letting my life flow from that love. I will begin living for Him not because I should, but because I want to.

 When I first started out with this love fearlessly idea, I had a different picture of love, but now this phrase takes on a whole new meaning. There really is no fear in love. I guess love is blinding in a way, you can’t see clearly since you are so consumed in your feelings for the other. Maybe that’s why “radical Christians” can do such extreme things in our eyes. From the outside they look crazy, but really they are just in love. Maybe not, but at any rate, that is what I want for my life. And so my new goal is to learn more about my savior, and spend more time with Him, in hopes of falling for Him. I want a life so consumed by my love for Him that nothing else really matters. I have no clue what this new year will bring, but if it results in getting even a little closer to my savior, and opening my heart up to Him even just a tad more, I know it will be just wonderful!!

I love being home. I love being surrounded by all the familiar of all that I grew up in. But most of all I love being surrounded by those I love most, my family. I came home and there was a welcome banner, and almost all of my siblings, and I was just so happy. I love just spending time with them and laughing with them. I love being able to just flop down beside them and laugh about whatever nonsense there is. I love the crazy amount of food my mother is always making, and all the random movies I get to watch with her is subtitles! I love seeing old friends, and best friends, and just getting to catch up with them. Coming home, while it doesn’t have all the activity of college life, is still so refreshing and lovely. I love my friends at college, but there is something about spending time with those you’ve known for years, and grown up with. While I’m surrounded by my family, and yet still on my quest to understand love better, I find myself in constant search to better understand what it truly means to love. I’ve been reading Crazy Love and in it Francis Chan asks whether a heaven with all the things we could want, but no God, would be okay with us. And as I looked at the list I really wasn’t sure. If my family and friends were with me and there was no pain, suffering, emotional distress etcetera. That would be pretty good. I think I would be content, and yet it would be without God, so how can I say that I love Him if I would be okay with a place without Him? This has led me to really seek to find what it is about Him that I really love, and whether or not I really love Him. Do I love Him, or just all that He gives me? I could go on with these questions I’ve be stuck on, but where this connects is when I consider the fact that I am surround by people I say I love, and yet am uncertain of why or whether I love God. I mean how can I love sinners, those who are selfish like me, and who will let me down, but not God, the one who has sacrificed and given me everything! So once again I am stuck with the question of what love is. I know I need to live my life in it and so this break, while I am surrounded by those I love, I want to also spend time with the one who loves me the most, as I hope to truly fall in love with Him.

(* I wrote this a week or so ago, but I forgot to put it up until now!!)