Star filled skies

I love star filled skies. They are so majestic and beautiful! This weekend I went to my dorm retreat, where I got to know so many of my brothers and sisters better, and just had such a fantastic time. But one of my favorite parts was looking up at the stars! (Also I saw a shooting star for the first time which I am still so excited about!!) I can’t really put into words why they are so amazing to look at, but they do have a way of bringing me into a greater awe of my Father. I have such peace and contentment when I lay in stillness just looking up to those glimmering gems of the heavens!

I am not sure why, but I soon started thinking about what the view from heaven would look like. Looking down at a sky like that! And then I wondered if that beautiful night sky was exactly how the world looks like to God. Is that why He is able to think we are beautiful? Because even though there is so much darkness, there are these beautiful lights shining out for Him! I don’t know if that is a very accurate perspective of how God sees the world, but it did lead me to a greater hope and conviction for my life. Yeah, there is darkness all over the place, it permeates the world, but the darkness is also filled with a multitude of glorious lights! Sometimes you look up at the sky and wish to just see even one star, but then other nights, you are overwhelmed with how many there are! And some nights you even see a shooting star!! Souls living so fully for God that He seems to be propelling them through this world on His grand plans! I know there will be cloudy nights when I don’t see any stars, but they are still there, and so I find so much hope in the way God will use us to shine brightly for Him. I am also convicted to continue to shine brightly for Him! Maybe even be a part of a constellation that together tells a part of one of God’s beautiful stories!

P.S. I loved the stars so much I decided to sleep out under them, and fell asleep listening to David Crowder’s Stars!

Beyond Grateful

I love how safe I feel in God’s arms. Once again He protected me in ways I do not fully understand. I got in my first car accident today while driving. A car came into my lane while I was on a pretty busy road and I hit him. It was so sudden and yet in slow motion as I saw the car coming and realized what was happening but had no control over it.  I still can’t put to words all that I felt as I saw his car spin out in front of me. It was so unreal! And yet I didn’t even get so much as a bruise or scratch from it! I was completely unharmed, and crazy enough, he seemed to be too (though I don’t know for sure).  I am just so amazed by the way He protected me, both cars took a hit, and I should have too, and so I am just in pure amazement! But also beyond grateful!

This experience did shake me up, though; especially on my way home later tonight when I passed a different accident. I haven’t seen any during my time at Calvin, and yet today I not only got in one but saw a crazy accident. The car was completely totaled and there were ambulances and police everywhere. It was quite a scene. And the whole time I just thought of how that could have been me. I mean I don’t want to be dramatic, but it’s true, you don’t know what to expect and your life could change in an instant. Today I was reminded of that, and I realize how blessed I am that it was just a reminder, but I also don’t want to take what I’ve learned lightly. Life is limited, and every day is a gift. I don’t want to waste a single day, not even a second of it. I want to let God use me fully; every moment of every day. I want to love Him and those around me. I want to count my blessings, and be a blessing to others. I know this might come off as another cliché story, but I still hope that it doesn’t. I hope that it will serve as a reminder to you too, that every day is a blessing, and that in order to make our lives matter (as long or short as they end up being) we need to give them up fully to Him. So start living! Don’t wait till it’s too late! And if anything, don’t take for granted the small things that are really big things! Live a life of thanksgiving that daily shares your gratitude to God. Let thanksgiving be your dialect! 

An Everlasting Love

I love being loved. Victor Hugo, a man whose words have filled many pages of my quote book (though he known for far greater things than that!), once said, “The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” How lucky am I then, that I am a daughter of God and have this love! Jeremiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” Those first words bring such a beautiful joy to my soul! I have loved you with an everlasting love! And while the second part brings great joy to me too; this knowledge of knowing that His faithfulness to me will continue, I am also convicted of what that should cause me to do. I mean the acknowledgement of this kind of love has to stir up some kind of response. And as I let the knowledge of this love really settle in, I realize the freedom it brings me. Freedom from all hopelessness, worry, stress, and just so much more; just the fact that a being capable of this kind of love exists, brings so much hope, courage, and joy.

Majesty

Here I am, humbled by your majesty, 
Covered by your grace so free.
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man, 
Covered by the blood of the lamb.

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine, 
Since You laid down Your life, 
The greatest sacrifice.

Majesty
Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hands

Here I stand humbled by the love that You give, 
Forgiven so that I can forgive.
So here I stand, 
Knowing that I am Your design, 
Sanctified by glory and fire.
And now I've found the greatest love of all is mine, 
Since You laid down Your life, 
The greatest sacrife.

Majesty
Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hands 
Majesty
Majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the presence of Your Majesty

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am, 
Empty handed but alive in your hands.
Singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love, 
In the presence of Your Majesty.
Majesty.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am, 
Empty handed but alive in your hands.
Singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love, 
In the presence of Your Majesty.
Majesty.

Hold Fast to Dreams

I love dreams! I think that is why my dream job would be teaching children in such a way that I am able to not only give hope to the hopeless, but show them how to dream, and truly believe in them! This has played a big role in my desire to be involved in overseas missions, but for awhile now I have been feeling more called in inter-city missions. Coming back home to Philly and teaching in some of the poorer schools there has been something that seems to have been placed on my heart.  While I have been trying to accept this, my heart has still been aching for overseas missions! I don’t want to be a Jonah, and I wouldn’t say that I have wholeheartedly accepted this yet, but this week God has been working in my heart in some pretty cool ways. He’s put a lot of great people in my life, which have been such a blessing, but the coolest part was this past Wednesday when I went to a pretty impoverished school for one of my classes. The school was predominantly Latino, but when I walked in and then spent time with my students I just had so many flashbacks to my time in Peru. It was so amazing! It was as if God was telling me, “Christina I know you. I know what your heart seeks, I created you that way! So when I ask you to trust me, do. I know you won’t always understand, but I promise that if you trust me I will lead you right where you need to be and I provide everything you need, even the satisfaction of your heart’s desires. It might not be the way you would have imagined, but it will be just the way I planned it and so it will be perfect!” My time there was amazing and I am so looking forward to getting to spend time with those kids every week. It was at times heartbreaking to see the lives they were living, but it was also so real, and beautiful. I knew that this was just the kind of setting  God could use me in. And so I am finding so much hope and excitement for my future!

I came across this beautiful poem by Langston Hughes recently. It’s a pretty famous one, but it was nice to come across it again. 

Dreams

Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.

I hope this can be a poem I keep close to my heart as I teach. While I will probably end up in public schools where I won’t be able to voice my faith, dreams will something I will be able to and so I hope I will be able to help instill dreams in the lives of my students! Dreams that I will then pray will lead them to Him!

We are family

I love when God uses His family. It never ceases to amaze me, the timing of my King. The paths He leads me down, and the people He places in my life at just the right moment. I went to chapel today because I just needed to worship my beautiful King, and spend time in awe of Him. As I continue to fall more in love with my true love, I find less and less I enjoy more than worshipping Him, and the feeling that comes with feeling the presence of the one I love as I sing to Him. And so I found hopeful anticipation as I walked towards the place where I would sing with and to Him. What I didn’t expect, was that I would be reminded of the brokenness of this world, and the pain that is in the hearts of so many.

Lately God has been showing me the uniqueness of my heart. It’s ability to feel the pain I see in others. At first I hated it, it was too painful, but lately I have been seeing the beauty and the privilege of the gift. Anyway, this gift is still under development, and I guess God choose today’s chapel to work on my heart, and so my heart began to break, and the joy I had as I walked over, was soon overcome with sadness. I thought of the pain of those I love, but also existence of pain in this world. The pain so many carry alone and how heartbreaking that is. He was teaching me how to open my eyes and heart to the pains of the world, but since this is something He is still developing in me, the sadness I was feeling soon turned into discouragement. This is when He brought in some of His other children, and used members of His family to help one of His daughters. As I stood in chapel, trying to hold back the tears, a fellow sister of mine began to pray. She’s was praying to God over all of us at chapel, but her words were exactly what I needed to hear. She spoke of brokenness, but also of redemption.  And I began to find both comfort and encouragement from her words. She talked of the beauty that God is able to bring out of our lives and then challenged us to let that beauty shine out of us today. To let God use us in each other’s lives today, and be a part of the healing in others lives. To be a loving face that encourages the brokenhearted, and I was reminded of the purpose I can find in my pain. I was able to be renewed, and motivated to go out and let God’s love, beauty, and hope shine through me today.  I soon reflected on one of the songs playing on my radio earlier that morning, and was encouraged to take up my position in God’s army and become part of the light that is coming for the hearts that hold on. There’s a lot of darkness in this world, but there’s light that is coming. And so as I have been encouraged and challenged, I also challenge you to join the light, and shine in the lives of others. Bring healing and hope. Live for Him, and let His love radiate out of your life.