I love when you hear a message so directed at you, and so well done that you literally can’t take your eyes off the preacher. Where you feel the urge to write down every word they say, but do nothing because any pause to get out a paper and pencil might cause you to miss out on even one word. As I sat in Chapel today I knew that God was using our awesome Chaplain, Mary Hulst, to teach me what I needed to hear. It was on the Sermon on the Mount and the Blessings only God can give. She talked about our need to do it all; to prove that we can do it all. And as she continued to talk I knew I was exactly the kind of person she was describing. I’ve always wanted to do it all, be included in everything. Maybe it’s a middle child thing, always wanting to be in both groups, to do what both the older and younger sibling were doing. Whatever the reason that has been the problem causer all my life. I fill my life beyond busy, even when everyone around me tells me that less is more. And then I find that I can’t do it all, or worst I think I can even when I’m not and I add more to my life. Anyway she talked of how these aren’t the blessings God gives, but the world. Nowhere in the bible does it say, “Blessed are those who achieve the highest GPA’s for theirs in the scholarships.” Or “Blessed are those who work hard in sports, for theirs is the championships.”  Or my favorite, “Blessed are those who do it all, for they will be loved and in high demand by everyone.” These are the blessing I’ve been pursuing whether I realized it or not, and as my pastor shared yesterday, these aren’t the blessings I should be in pursuit of. Then Pastor Mary made the statement that almost led me to tears right there, “Don’t you want to be blessed by someone you don’t have to impress?” Christ didn’t stand on a mountain blessing those who had it all together, He gave the blessing to those “who weren’t making it and could no longer fake it.” I can’t do it all, I’m just a normal girl, trying to make a difference in this big world, but I think I’m just beginning to realize, I am too small. The one that is big is God, and unless I rest in His peace, and pursue Him, I will never find, or achieve what I am looking for. I’m beginning to see this truth, but I know I’m still far from living it out. Even as I write I am scared to think of what this actually means. What things do I need to get rid of in my life? Everything seems so important, and maybe they are to some degree, but none are more important than God, and if I let the busyness of life keep me from making time for Him, or even being able to rest in Him, then they need to go. I’m glad God is continuing to make me new, but for anyone reading this, prayer that I would actually listen, I mean listen to the point of making lifestyle changes, that would be wonderful. I don’t know what this means for my life, but if it means that I am finally pursing the blessing only God can give, and not the world’s blessings, than I know it’s a change for the better.