I love lilies. I love the 1940s. I love art supplies. I love being outdoors. I love laughing to the point where it becomes an ab workout. I love the daydreams of a new beginning. It seems as if everything I try, I fall in love with, and so when I decided to begin a blog, I knew it needed to be able to be about all that I love.  So hear it goes. I hope this will become a wonderful and seemingly random recollection of all the thoughts, moments, and people I love.

I love when you realize, once again how amazing God is. When you look back and see the stitches of God’s steady hand as He wove all of the pieces of your messed up life together to create something beautiful. The moments when you step back and realize that all the joy, pain, confusion, and frustration you went through, led you to a point of becoming; a new point of becoming more like the one who created you.  Today, as I was surrounded by hundreds of fellow Calvin students singing out in praise to Him, the words of that old, beloved, hymn, Come Thou Fount, it all began to click. His love is so amazing and unchanging that I have nothing to fear. It’s a lesson He’s been teaching me, but as I sang the words of this hymn, I saw their meaning in light of my struggles.  My fear of losing all that I love due to my blindness of seeing all that they truly mean to me.  As I sang the words, “Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love,” I realized how unfaithful I am in my love to Him. It voiced my shame, and reminded me of my fear. If I say I truly love Him, then why do I find it so easy to daily leave Him. And, if I can’t even truly love Him, how will I ever be able to truly love others, and in that case, be loved. But the song sang of more than my weakness. “Jesus sought me when a stranger, wondering from the fold of God. He to rescue me from danger interposed His precious blood.” My love is weak, but His love is strong. It finds me, and rescues me. It lets me sing, “I’ll praise the mount, I’m fixed upon it. Mount of Thy redeeming love.” His love for me isn’t just rescuing, it’s redeeming. I don’t need to live in fear of being rejected, because His love receives me. I don’t need to live in fear of my love not being worthy enough, because that price is already paid. His love frees me from all fears so that I can live and love fearlessly. Life will always have its hardships and frustrations. Fear and worry will most likely creep in time after time, but we are still surrounded by His love. And it is in that realization that we can let go of fears. My life is still far from that of a fearless girl marching out into this world to do His work and be His light, but God is taking me step by step and showing me how to live my life in this world, complete in His unfailing love.  My prayer is still that He would continue to, “Bind my wandering heart to Thee,” but my joy is in seeing all that He does in and through me, as He shows me how to let go of my fears and fall into His love.