I love when what starts out as one thing, becomes something so much bigger. When I set out with this blog, I wanted to write about the things I love, both the life changing, and small, but day making kind of things. I wanted to write about my journey to get to the point of being so filled with God loves that my heart could never be broken; the point where my life is beacon of God’s love through me.  But lately, I realized that while God’s love heals, it also breaks. It’s a love so selfless that it can’t help but break. Hillsong puts out some great lyrics, and in one of my favorite songs by them, Hosanna, they sing, “Break my heart for what breaks Yours,” and let me tell you that kind of break hurts. I mean it’s a break that led God to send His only son to die for us. By trying to use God’s love as a way to avoid heartbreak, I’ve found it more. I see the hurt and pain in others’ lives and my helplessness to ease it. I wish my love would be enough to ease theirs. That mine would be greater than their need to find love elsewhere, but I know that my love could never be that powerful, only God’s is. But then I watch them refuse to accept His either, and that kind of sadness breaks my heart. All I wish for is that they could be happy, but all I see is them struggle all the while knowing they don’t have to, and it hurts. You try to reach out, but they turn away, and you’re left in tears because you know their tears are coming, and you can’t prevent it. I know God lets us go through these pains because it’s only when we have nothing left that we finally choose Him. I know this is true of all of us, I just wish it didn’t have to be. I mean He’s there all along, why can’t we just take His love and let His love fuel our life, and give us joy. Why do we have to choose everything but Him? But then I think of how much my heart hurts when I see all of this, and realize that my heart only breaks for a fraction of what breaks God. And I remember how God’s love is so much greater than mine, so the break must be all the bigger. I remember how much farther He goes to bring us back, and realize that the hurt He goes through is more than I could ever imagine. I mean His love is greater, so how much greater must His heartbreak be? He went all the way to the cross to show us we’re worth it, and for many of us it still wasn’t enough. The lyrics, “Oh how he loves us,” begin to take on a whole new meaning when I think of what He does to show us, we are worth it. That He loves us till the end. I’m mystified.  I mean think of your favorite love story and then times it by infinity. He is more loving than any Prince Charming and we are more undeserving and despicable than even the cruelest villain, and yet we get to be the princess He fights not dragons, but demons for. The ones He fights for, only to be told, I didn’t want to be saved, go away!! I don’t understand, why He keeps trying, but I’m so glad He never gave up on me, and while my heart breaks for those who like me, reject Him, I find hope in Him. And I find that my downcast heart can still sing for Him, because His love is greater than mine, and while I don’t know how He’s gonna save yet another lost, ungrateful soul, I know He will. “Oh how He love us, oh how He loves us, how He loves us all.”

I love this video. I'm sure many of you have seen this skit before, but it really shows how even as God is reaching out to us, we choose everything, but Him, but how He also never gives up on us!!!